<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>nobody butters me up like you, and nobody fucks me like me by horsemilk</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604846">nobody butters me up like you, and nobody fucks me like me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsemilk/pseuds/horsemilk'>horsemilk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1st chapter is gender neutral, 2nd chapter is AFAB reader, Belphegor Being a Little Shit (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Comfort Reading, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gen, I love that tag, Other Additional Tags to Be Added</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:47:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsemilk/pseuds/horsemilk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>mc just wants to be a culinary genius, but belphegor prefers you over soup.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nobody butters me up like you, and nobody fucks me like me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was inspired by both my 5am soup making session as well as the song "your best american girl" by mitski (and then another mitski song)</p><p>if i could, i'd be your little spoon<br/>and kiss your fingers forevermore</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>bleary-eyed and muttering something undoubtedly obscene under his breath in infernal, belphegor awoke and noticed two things. firstly, he noticed the distinct lack of warmth in the bed he was currently in (to which then realized was in fact mc's bed).</p><p>and then secondly, he noticed the distinct lack of human as well.</p><p>he did a broad sweeping motion against the plane of mattress behind him, making sure she hadn't just escaped his grasp somehow and fallen back asleep behind him--but felt nothing except folds of the ruffled sheets.</p><p>an irritated sigh left his lips.</p><p>"god fucking dammit."</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>meanwhile, you were standing in the kitchen. barefoot, bare-assed, praying to diavolo that somebody (aka, one of the brothers) didn't walk in.</p><p>hunched over a pot of soup--or something that was supposed to be soup--you glanced at the stove clock.</p><p>
  <em>3:37AM</em>
</p><p>you gave a helpless look, something akin to "i don't know what i'm doing, but it's something and now it's too late to back out" and continued stirring the spiced concoction in front of you.</p><p>the so-called "soup" bubbled up and gurgled belligerently and you barely managed to dodge the bit of boiling hot liquid from hitting you square in the face.</p><p><em>asmo would lose his shit if anything left a mark on my face</em>, you thought dryly for a second.</p><p>leaning against the frigid countertop lost thinking about soup, you missed the sudden creaking of the kitchen door; and the silent footsteps of the demon that followed it.</p><p>"...<em>jesus christ.</em>" belphegor mouthed to himself silently.</p><p>he stood stock still there for a moment, just staring at the absolute wreck he called his girlfriend (hey that's you!), and the concerning meal simmering on the stove burner.</p><p>finally deciding to announce his presence, he breathed out a loud sigh.</p><p>immediately, your head snapped up and whipped around like a rabbit in headlights, bleary-eyed and guilty.</p><p>your demon just started sourly like a mother disappointed in her child, with a dead look in his magenta eyes.</p><p>"belphie, it's not wh-"</p><p>"save it, human." he silenced you quickly, and the look on his face told you to keep quiet.</p><p>"i-i don't even want to <em>know</em>, mc. i just-" he sighed defeatedly and closed his eyes.</p><p>(mans was literally trying to summon the strength to deal with his s/o making soup at 4am, what were you even doing??)</p><p>"we're going back to bed."</p><p>you gave him an offended look, like he had just tried to murder you or something.</p><p>pointing to the dark-colored pot on the stove you whisper-yelled out at him,</p><p>"belphie. can't you see i'm being a CHEF, right now?"</p><p>you crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow. with just how utterly confident you looked, he almost felt bad for raining on your parade.</p><p>almost.</p><p>"yeah okay, we're definitely going back to bed."</p><p>"b-belphegor, i swear to gOD-!"</p><p>and just like that you were swung over the seventh born's shoulder like a ragdoll, weighing nothing more than about a couple grapes to the demon.</p><p>of course that wouldn't stop you from complaining, though.</p><p>"belphegor! put me down right now mister! i <em>will</em> withhold sex, do <em>not</em> test me-!"</p><p>a hand sharply (teasingly) landed upon your ass with a sharp <em>slap!</em> and you involuntarily squealed.</p><p>"you couldn't withhold sex with me for the grimm in the world, brat."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i feel like i used the term "bleary-eyed" far too many times to sound coherent </p><p>my apologies for any misspellings or errors :&gt;</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>